How the coach had to drum up courage and get out of her comfort zone.

As a life coach I must stand in my integrity at times and drum up the courage to get out of my comfort zone. Just like I ask my clients to. This year I had to do just that, and I almost threw up doing it. 

THE BACK STORY

In April of this year I finally took a COVID cancelled trip to see my mentor and good friend in Portugal. I’d never been and was super excited to finally have it happen. I was also looking forward to being with my friend again after 10 years.  Day trips were planned along with several over night excursions. I would get to see much of Portugal and even cross over into Spain for a few days. Spirits were high, until there was an email conversation that changed my expectations and threw me for a loop. 

THE FEAR 

There may, at times, be a perception that as a life coach we have life figured out. That we don’t have issues getting out of our comfort zone’s or finding our courage. This perception can occur because it’s not the coach’s job to share their personal stories in a coaching session. Sessions focus on the client, not the coach. 

For me I have a fear of travelling alone. I am terrified of being in a foreign country on my own where I may get lost and can’t speak the language. Yes technology can help with all of that, if you know how to use it properly and don’t get stressed out. 

At 56 years of age I was going to have to face this fear. But not before I tried to plan my way out of having to. 

THE CHALLENGE

My friend shared that she’d done all of the tourist things to many times with other visitors and had no desire to go with me again. I was going to have to do several things on my own. When she shared this I realized I had held an expectation. I expected she would be my tour guide and tell me all about what I was seeing. My bubble burst when I was told this would not be the case. 

This particular friend is the one who introduced me to and was instrumental in me becoming a life coach. Because of this she saw that I was now outside of my comfort zone and that I would probably adjust my plans so that I didn’t have to do as many things alone. 

She cared enough and knew enough to challenge me to face this fear. To support me to get out of my comfort zone and increase my confidence by doing some excursions on my own. In support, she would be at the end of my phone whenever I needed her. 

COURAGE

This wasn’t the first time in my life that I had to get way out of my comfort zone. Check out some of my other courage moments in life here. 

I knew my friend was right. I also knew she held me capable and that her challenge to me was out of kindness, not meanness. But the idea of it still scared the crap out of me. 

Seeing her and seeing Portugal were really important to me. (Motivation) If life was going to put another courage challenge in front of me, the price was worth it. 

While on my trip I did journey into Lisbon on my own one day. With an upset stomach and at times shaking with worry, I had booked and joined a tour to see Mosteiro dos Jerónimos and Belem Tower on my own.  During a trip through a large famous bakery we were told we could use the washroom.  When I came out the tour group was nowhere to be seen, this increased my anxiety by being alone. After much searching I did find them but not after a toll on my nerves. ( side bar: I never did throw up and managed to get myself back home safely after, but by Uber and not the train.)

Mosteiro dos Jerónimos, Lisbon Portugal

Me in front of the Monastery. Lisbon, Portugal

GETTING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Taking that afternoon to go into the city on my own was super scary for me. But I knew that if I was going to ever get over this fear I was going to have to face it head on. And my friend knew that too. 

Finding our courage to get out of our comfort zone takes practice. It also takes vulnerability. Brenè Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, has a Netflix movie entitled The Call the Courage, which is a great place to start learning more about how to practice courage in all areas of our lives. 

It’s important to recognize the opportunities and not ignore them. Maybe, like me, something makes you want to throw up when you think about doing it. Perhaps it’s ending or starting a relationship, moving to another city or country, changing career, having a child. Recognize the places where it takes courage to say yes and work at trying to not always say no. 

Only by stepping out of that comfort zone can we grow and become stronger, more confident and the person we want to be. I’m glad I did. 

I love my friend for pushing me and for loving me enough to want for me what I couldn’t quite grab without her support. Even for a coach it isn’t easy to drum up courage and get out of her comfort zone. 

If there isn’t a friend like mine in your life then think about working with a life coach. Having been on this courage journey for a while now, I’m right there on the other end of the phone for you.