5 Life Skills my client learned that created his success.

In a recent coaching session a long term client began by saying he’d realized  there were 5 Life Skills he had learned while working with a life coach that had created his personal success. 

This particular client and I have been working together for the past 10 years. His level of awareness and personal growth has grown exponentially since he said yes to working with a life coach. For the purpose of this blog let’s call him Bob. 

5 LIFE SKILLS FOR SUCCESS

Bob is very reflective and he values his own learning and growth, therefore he is always curious and courageous. In observing those in his field of academia, he has come to the following conclusion about what is needed for his success, not only at work, but in life. 

• You must put in the effort to know yourself. 
• You must continue to get out of your comfort zone a little.
• Self compassion is a must.
• Learn to trust in yourself and work at showing confidence.
• Learn how to not make tough things heavy, try a lighter, more fun approach. 

DIVING DEEPER – Know Yourself

The entire focus of coaching is to learn more about yourself. To explore in a safe environment your thoughts, patterns, habits and beliefs. To create self awareness. As Bob’s self awareness grew so did his awareness of how others interact with him and in the world. Only by knowing himself better can he understand what is important to him and whether or not he is making choices in alignment with who he really is. 

DIVING DEEPER – Comfort Zone & Compassion 

Bob didn’t always like getting out of his comfort zone. But as an educator he knew the value of learning and that meant trying new things. It was by doing new things, creating a new experience and at times saying yes to things that he had no clue how to do, that he saw how he became more successful at work and in his personal life. 

The skill of self compassion is a hard one. It’s something that can take years of practice and effort. Dr. Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor at the University of Houston, Austin, is an excellent resource on how to learn and practice self compassion. As Bob learned, in working with a life coach, self compassion is crucial to getting out of the comfort zone. When getting out of your comfort zone maybe it didn’t go as you had planned, self compassion needs to step in so that we don’t give up.

DIVING DEEPER – Self Trust  

Learning how to trust yourself and showing confidence are things that can only begin to happen when you consciously choose to do so. 

Take Toastmasters for example. Toastmasters is a world wide organization that helps people with their public speaking and leadership skills. Going to a Toastmasters meeting can help you learn a great deal. From how to write a speech, what topics to choose and how to run a meeting, but you will not become a better speaker until you actually find your courage, get out of your comfort zone and say yes to doing your first speech. 

At some point you have to trust that you can put into practice all of the things you have been learning in your weekly meetings. Speaking, receiving feedback and working on your next speech all help to build self trust and courage. 

 PUT DOWN THE 50 POUND BACKPACK

Bob’s lesson about learning how to make things less heavy and to add fun isn’t about shying away from bad things in life or uncomfortable situations. Rather it’s about choosing a perspective. 

You have a choice when it comes to how you react to the stimuli of your life. Do you catastrophize or do you consider if the situation is within your control? If it isn’t then will you choose not to carry the proverbial 50 pound backpack around with you? Bob has learned to put his backpack down and at times chooses to add some humour, when appropriate. He has learned that there’s no point in picking up and carrying that backpack all the time. 

OBTAINING THESE 5 LIFE SKILLS

The reason Bob continues to work with me as his life coach after all these years is because it gives him 1 hour every two weeks to focus on who he is in the world and what he wants to do with his time here. His confidence continues to grow as he experiments daily at being his best self. 

He has learned that what he focuses on changes and that his coach is always there for him to reflect with, be honest with himself, to recalibrate when necessary and to celebrate with. Bob has learned the value of coaching and if these 5 life skills matter to you, then you can too.