Is setting a boundary actually a judgement? It was a very uncomfortable realization as recently a friend pointed this out to me when I asked, if by expressing my boundary was I sounding judgmental?
Recently I came across a short video by Esther Perel, a psycho therapist I follow out of New York. Over her 30 years of studying human relationships in her office, her books and videos are now helping many learn how to deal with infidelity but also how to be better partners.
When we hold the belief that our way is the only right way we are judging others on their morals. When we could instead choose the skill of curiosity and choose to learn more rather than to show up in a place of judgement.
I grew up in a household where everyone was extremely judgemental. I’ve since learned that when we judge others so much we do so as a way to make ourselves feel better. But driving connection with another because you are both judging someone else, isn’t true connection.
For many of us life has become an unconscious placing of one foot in front of the other day after day. A mindset of simply having to get it done, moving through the routine of things. We rarely give any thought to who we are actually being in our lives
Exceptions can be a nasty thing. But we all have them, you just have to be honest enough with yourself to realize this. But what often isn’t natural is having the courage to share them with others.